WELLCOME TO DIREKTORATE FOR THE OVERS THINKING AND WORRIMENTS!
We are making the worries into big business since 1974!
WARNING: This English page translated by intern who failed English class
Our translating team consist of one (1) person who did not pass the English exam but was very enthusiast about job!
DANGER: Content may cause less worry than Norwegian version - not authentic experience
Studies show that worry is reduced by 72.6% when reading in not-native language. For full worry impact, please switching to Norwegian.
You are visitor number 18 since 2004
This page best viewed in Netscape Navigator 4.0 with screen resolution 800x600
OFFICIAL NOTICE OF TRANSLATION POLICIES
The English page is maintained according to Section 12B of the Norwegian Inadequate Translation Act of 1997 (revised 2015).
By viewing this page, you accept that all worry calculations may be off by factor of 17.3% according to International Worry Measurement Standards (IWMS).
IMPORTANT: Translation budget spent. Remaining content available in Norwegian only. English page update schedule: Every second leap year (weather permitting).
Required Downloads:
WHO WE ARE
The Norwegian Direktorate for Overs Thinking and Worriments was established in year of nineteen hundreds and seventy four (1974) to help citizens with more efficient worrying.
ERROR: ABOUT_US_EN.DLL NOT FOUND
Missing content: Historical background (1974-1997)
Please try again when Mercury is not in retrograde
Our mission is to help Norwegian citizens worry more efficiently MISTRANSLATION help Norwegian citizens overcome excessive worry through structured worry management.
Strategic Goals:
- Reduce national worry by 25%* by 2030
- Implement worry certificates for all citizens
- Develop next-generation worry tracking technology
* Compared to 2015 levels, adjusted for population growth and social media exposure
Key Achievements:
- Processed over 9 million worries since 1974
- Reduced average worry duration from 17 to 12 days
- Won European Bureaucracy Excellence Award 2022
Translation Notes:
Bekymring* - No proper English word exists for this Norwegian concept
Overtenkningsprosess** - Direct translation impossible. Refers to specific feeling when you worry about worrying too much
SERVICES WE OFFERING
Have a WORRY-TASTIC day!
In America, people say "Have a nice day!" but in Norway, we know every day has potential for new worries. That's why our official slogan is Ha en produktiv bekymringsdag! which literally translates to "Have a productively worried day!" but culturally means something closer to "May your anxieties be organized and efficient!"
CONTACT US WITH YOUR WORRYTHOUGHTS
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONINGS
Q: How do I access my worry profile in English?
A: You don't. Worry profiles only function in Norwegian. Science has proven English lacks sufficient vocabulary for proper worry documentation. This is scientific fact not opinion!
Q: Do you offer worry services to non-Norwegian citizens?
A: Yes, but why would you want this? Norwegian worry is not like regular worry. It is enhanced by long dark winters and high taxation. Foreign worries are considered "hobby worries" by our professional standards.
Q: How can I get a refund for my worry certificate?
A: Refunds not available as worry is non-refundable emotion TRANSLATION ERROR Please contact Norwegian Consumer Protection Agency with form B-117-Ø (available only on paper, in triplicate, during office hours 10:00-10:15 on alternate Thursdays).
Q: Is the website responsive and mobile-friendly?
A: FEIL! SVAR FINNES IKKE PÅ ENGELSK! [Error: Response only available in Norwegian]
System Status for English Translation Portal
ERROR: WORRY_MODULE_EN.DLL NOT FOUND
Required component missing. Please reinstall WorryPortal from original CD-ROM.
NorwegianToEnglish.exe is not responding
Translation service has encountered an unexpected nap. Try again after coffee break.
Translation staff on vacation
All 1 (one) of our English translators are currently on summer vacation. Expected return: Maybe September?
Maintenance Schedule
This page is maintained every fifth full moon or when someone remembers, whichever comes last.
Random Norwegian text with no explanation:
Det er ikke mulig å få denne teksten på engelsk. Beklager ulempen, men det er faktisk ingen som jobber her som kan nok engelsk til å oversette. Vi prøvde Google Translate, men resultatene var så morsomme at vi bestemte oss for å bare holde oss til norsk. Ha en fin dag!
© 1994-2026 Direktoratet for Overtenkelse og Bekymring
Page generated by WordPress 2.7 running on Windows 95